The Leadership Mirror: How Self-Discovery Transformed the Way I Lead and Understand Other

For nearly twenty years, I have taken every type of leadership and personality assessment you can imagine. Not to define myself, but to understand myself.

When I started this journey, I did not know what I was looking for. I only knew that something powerful happens when you slow down and ask deeper questions about who you are and how you show up in the world. Over time, the results stopped feeling like “tests” and started feeling like mirrors. Each one offered a small piece of truth, a clue about my strengths, my patterns, my energy, my blind spots, and the stories I had been carrying for years.

Little by little, these insights became part of my leadership foundation. They helped me see what fuels me and what drains me. They showed me where I naturally thrive and where I need support. They gave me language for things I had always felt but could never fully articulate.

But the real transformation happened when I began using these tools to understand others.

This part is often overlooked. We rush to understand ourselves, but leadership is not lived in isolation. It happens in the space between people. The true magic of self-awareness is that it opens the door to other-awareness. Once you recognize your own wiring, you start to recognize that others move through the world differently. They think differently, communicate differently, react differently, and are motivated by different things.

This is where the Platinum Rule comes alive.
Treat people the way they want to be treated.

You cannot practice the Platinum Rule if you assume people should want what you want. You cannot build trust if you expect others to process, prioritize, or perform the way you do. You cannot lead effectively if you only lead from your own lens.

When I learned to read the differences, everything changed.
I became a better listener.
I built stronger teams.
I navigated conflict faster.
I communicated with more intention.
I saw people more clearly.
And I honored the ways they needed to be supported.

That awareness did not come from any single assessment. It came from the cumulative effect of slowing down, looking inward, telling the truth, and being willing to grow.

As we approach the end of the year, I find myself thinking about how many of us jump into resolutions without ever taking stock of the person who is setting them. We think about goals, but not alignment. We think about output, but not insight. We think about the future, but not the foundation.

Before you plan the next twelve months, pause.

Ask yourself what you learned about who you are becoming.
Look at the strengths that carried you.
Look at the patterns you want to evolve.
Look at the people who shaped your year and the energy you brought into every room.

Then give yourself one gift.

Choose one self-awareness tool.
It can be an assessment, a reflection exercise, a journal prompt, or even a conversation with someone who sees you clearly.

Use it as a mirror.
Use it to understand yourself with more honesty and more grace.
Use it to understand others with more compassion and more precision.

When you understand yourself, you lead yourself.
When you understand others, you elevate them.
And when those two pieces come together, you step into the kind of leadership that transforms cultures, teams, relationships, and lives.

Know yourself to grow yourself.

The new year is waiting for you to begin.