Recognition- The Secret Ingredient to Lifting Others.
“Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise…..” (Dale Carnegie, from How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Great advice, but often misunderstood. I remember the first time I read this, going back 20+ years, when I was first trying to learn about how to be a manager and guide people. I found this book by happenstance, yet it changed my mindset on management and leadership forever.
The words are simple, they reflect a genuineness in the recognition of others, with a generosity in the spirit to praise them. I’ve learned over time that there’s nothing that’s more uplifting to people’s spirit than the kindness bestowed upon them with the gentle words of a compliment. This goes far beyond a thanks or thank you. It’s the actual act of articulating what you appreciate about what they did, and quickly after they did it.
Ways this works the best? Here’s a simple formula of three things:
When- Right after someone has done something, and in a forum where it would get a maximum audience, for some, and for others who would shy away from the attention, in person and private.
Where- This could be anywhere…by their deskside, in the middle of a meeting, after hours with a phone call (remote), or even at an offsite/company event. The where doesn’t matter as much, as long as it is at the right when.
How- Ah…a good one. There are countless ways to do this. Beyond the “thank you for doing x at y, that was great!” What’s important is the extent of what you recognize about what they did, and how you describe its impact. Example: I really want to thank you for the great job you did rounding around the nursing units to assist with the temporary staff logins during the emergency we had yesterday. I know it took you many hours, walking around with a laptop and traversing many different locations over the course of the day. This must’ve been exhausting. But it made all the difference to those units, and saved a lot of time for them, ultimately giving them more attention to give back to patient care. You did this, with passion and a great attitude, and it’s very much appreciated!” The words you use matter….how you describe what they did and with details matters more….and expressing how it made a difference or was above and beyond matters the most! It elicits a sentiment of pride that lasts way beyond the words.
Wisdom simply articulated- by Maya Angelou
Wisdom simply articulated- by Maya Angelou
You see, “…people will forget what you said, but they won’t forget how you made them feel.” That simple quote from Maya Angelou says it all. It’s true, over time, people will forget many or most of the words you used, but the sentiment…that feeling you left them with, will seldom be forgotten. And making people feel good about themselves, their purpose, their accomplishments, is all that you need to do to continue to motivate and inspire them to doing more great things.
On the other hand, what you shouldn’t do, when giving recognition, is try to water it down so that it doesn’t call out other peoples’ deficiencies or lack of contribution. Trying to shrink down what someone did or how important it was is never a good idea, in fact, trivializing their contribution is probably worse than not recognizing it all. For those who go above and beyond, It is downright demoralizing to be swept in with others who put in significantly less effort.
Saying “everyone’s efforts are appreciated” and leveling the playing field on the recognition given is the same as giving everyone the same raise, for fear of someone complaining that it isn’t fair someone got more than them. It is spirit crushing and unfair to those who did the extra work. My advice, always be fair and recognize those unsung heroes, even if it makes others feel uncomfortable. If you do it appropriately, it will model to others the type of behavior that is above and beyond, and how it matters. Just my two cents. Words matter, so do actions. Do what’s right, even if others feel uneasy. It lifts people, and changes everything.
