FEAR- The F-Word at Work…and Its Perpetual Negative Impact On Employee Engagement.

Reading a post this morning from social media marketing savant “GaryVee” (Gary Vaynerchuk, Chairman of VaynerX, CEO of VaynerMedia, author of Crushing It and wannabe owner of the New York Jets) that read: “My greatest fear is to create fear in my companies. Employees that work from a place of fear cause so much distrust and miscommunication that ultimately hurts everyone involved.” caused me to pause and think about FEAR, the really ugly F word, and how much it impacts psychological safety in the workplace.

I love that Gary spelled this out so simply by highlighting how it leads to distrust and miscommunication. This is so very true. And so very dangerous.

Fear in the workplace does stem from a feeling of distrust- of people, of the institution, and ultimately of a loss of control.

Why do people have fears? Because it’s a natural reaction to the unknown. Fear is the emotion you feel in response to the unknown. When you don’t know how things will go when you take certain actions, face certain circumstances, or when you’re uncertain or ungrounded in general… Fear takes over.  Fear comes in many shapes and forms and it can grow over time to  become an unsurmountable mountain if you let it.

Once upon a time, leaders equated Fear with respect. They wanted, to a certain extent, for people to Fear them. When they walked the floors of their corporation, they wanted to witness a little stiffening of the spine by their employees, essentially people standing straighter and showing some discomfort around them. That was the Command and Control era of leadership. Leaders of the time were taught that this Fear was necessary to give them power over their employees enabling them to have Control. Yes, Fear gave leaders control over employees, but who does their best work in a perpetual state of Fear? Absolutely no one.

What people, (yes I’d argue that’s ALL people) want is to be understood and respected and valued. In his book “Trust and Inspire”, Steven M. R. Covey says, “One of the greatest needs for humans is to be understood. What oxygen is to the body, understanding is to the heart. It gives people emotional and psychological air.”

How powerful is that! Essentially being heard out, being understood goes a longer way to getting cooperation, commitment and consistent performance from people that just about anything else. Taking into consideration that along with that is the expectation that by doing this, a leader would have to also act on this new understanding and show that they value their people. Prioritizing their needs, and showing sincerity in their words by taking action.

This doesn’t mean that everything they ask for will be delivered, but having transparency and speaking openly helps reduce and even eliminate Fear.

Communication, especially during times of great change, is the antidote to the Fear of change and nothing creates more Fear for people than change, the ultimate disrupter to inner serenity and peace. Our human nature is to be creatures of habit. We love knowing how our day will go, what is going to happen next, and that we will be safe. And Fear has more to do with feeling safe than we ever really want to admit.

How exactly do you create a culture of NO FEAR? How do you create psychological safety?

I’m sure there’s a plethora of books, podcasts, courses by subject matter experts, and motivational speakers with elegant talks on the subject to inform and inspire us but I think it is simply a matter of showing up yourself as a person.  Being real. Being honest. Being humble.

There shouldn’t be multiple personas of you - the version you are at the office should be the same as at home. Of course, there are different roles you play, expectations, and circumstances…but your core is the same. Just stay true to you… courageously you all the time.

It takes courage to speak from the heart to your people, to let them hear the crackle in your voice when you talk about something that you’re nervous about (even saddened or ashamed of).

It takes courage to host a mediating meeting when you know both parties are harboring resentment and will air out some strong opinions and hostility on the path to a solution.

It takes courage to have the necessary talk with an employee who is underperforming, and who desperately needs to get back on the right track.

But fearing each of these situations and avoiding them doesn’t make for a better outcome. All it does is it creates more silos, confusion, and distrust. Franklin D. Roosevelt said it best, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

To create less Fear in our environments, as leaders we ourselves have to face our own Fear(s) and get past them.  We have to recognize when there is Fear in others and have hard and open conversations.  Deal with the sticky stuff. Bad news doesn’t get any better with age.

And how many times have we had to walk into what seemed like a firefight situation, endure an uncomfortable situation/dialogue, in order to come to an agreement and move past the obstacle? It happens all the time. It is a necessary evil. Fearing doing that doesn’t make the task less necessary, but avoiding it only gives more color and weight to our Fears, and ultimately causes more pain.

I once heard FEAR spelled out as F-E-A-R, False Expectations Appearing Real. I like that. It recognizes that at the root of Fear is an inaccurate depiction of the circumstance. An un-reality, an unrealistic or unreal situation that we conjure in our minds.

Those who Fear public speaking, for instance, may have a false expectation that once they start speaking, others will start laughing or throwing tomatoes at them (that hardly ever happens…I hope.)

The truth is, we’re more uncomfortable with being uncomfortable than we want to admit. Our Fears get in our ways more than we think. They often sabotage our behaviors and have us in patterns of action that ultimately become habits. When you see someone (including you) react with anger to a situation you can be sure that behind the anger is a Fear.

All Fears start out as thoughts, existing in only one place and playing over and over… in our minds. “What if I don’t like my next boss and I hate my job?” “What if the neighborhood I move to is drug-infested and dangerous?” “What if my investments all fail and I lose my life’s savings?”

I love this next saying that I’ll share, “Watch your thoughts, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

So be careful of Fear, and allowing it to take a permanent residency in your life, either work or personal. If you let it, it will squat and fester like crabgrass in July…and what was once a very rich, healthy lawn, becomes a weed-infested wasteland.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it’s greener where you take care of it!

May you face every Fear with the necessary mindset to see the reality clearly, and to find courage to unshackle from its constraints and set yourself free.