Applying the Platinum Rule- elevating People as People.
By Nora Osman- believer in the power of individuality
The truth about people, we’re all individuals. I know, it’s shocking, right? So why does the Golden Rule resonate with so many people? Why do we assume that treating people as you’d want to be treated is the best approach? Wouldn’t that mean that we all have the same wants and needs? Aside from air, food, and water, which we all need to survive, everything else is arguably personal. Which is why I go back to the concept of individualism.
A recent trip to a tropical destination solidified this concept for me. As I watched the visitors of this illustrious island, I saw those who enjoyed basking in the sun, with a book or simply sleeping. I witnessed the water-goers, hanging in doughnuts or simply standing in gentle waters. Others enjoyed walking the beach with a drink. And there were those who were exploring the ocean’s depth, with snorkeling gear or, you guessed it, fishing rods! There were more than a dozen different activities going on at any given moment, evidence of the uniqueness of the individuals in the same place. Same destination, same weather, same time, completely different interests.
If we were to apply the Golden rule in this instance, we would assume that like myself, all beach goers would want to spend the first hour on a lounge chair, under an umbrella, sipping a Mojito while reading a book. They would then spend 45 minutes in the water, enjoying the waves, and the last hour and 15 minutes walking the beach, collecting shells. But then it would look like a synchronized activity, and eventually we would face congestion in everything we do. Our differences are what make us interesting and appealing to one another. We are attracted to the diversity that we bring, not just in physical appearance, but also in action and thinking. We should not assume we are all seeking the same things, setting the same goals, ever. That would make us clones, which we are not.
Even in a family, parents are unique, with some similarities and often many complex differences. Siblings are very different from one another, even if they look like twins. And friends for sure have many more differences. You get the point, we’re human, and that’s what’s common, and everything else differentiates us. So how do we figure out how to treat one another? By simply making the time to get to know each other, actively watching, listening, and trying to understand what likes/dislikes we have. The rule to apply here is the Platinum rule; treat people as they want to be treated, not how you would want to be treated.
The Platinum Rule- applications.
In the work world, there are many ways to apply the platinum rule. If you’re the leader, you have impact on your team by setting the direction for the team, working through complexity, and leveraging individual strengths. Understanding what makes each person tick, what motivates them is key to healthy team dynamics. But beyond that, it’s avoiding a one-size fits all approach to managing team members. One team member may want regularly scheduled one-on-ones with very specific feedback/instruction relayed, while another may prefer only check ins when needed. Some individuals want very clear instructions and input, others may want a wider realm to exercise decisions and experiment. Treating them as they want to be treated is the differentiator for successful leaders.
On the personal side, the same applies outside of the work world. I know many parents who try to duplicate benefits and activities for each child to be “fair.” That approach can pigeon-hole a child or children in roles, activities, and situations that they would prefer to avoid. Spending the time to learn what interests a child and working with that is the nurture needed for them to achieve their full potential. Sure, it’s easier to assume all kids should have x sports and y arts in their lives, but what’s the point if they don’t enjoy it and see it as a chore? Time and money wasted is the outcome of taking the easy route in this case.
As for businesses, this is where it gets tricky. To achieve stability and growth in a business, there must be a good mix of process and product. Variability in the service or product causes more issues with consistency. That said, getting to know your customers and learn what they like/dislike and allowing a good amount of flexibility and choice caters to the platinum rule. That’s not to say you should have 29 options to choose from for everything. But having only one or two can seem more than restrictive. Isn’t that why we choose our own unique paint colors for rooms in our homes (and siding) instead of plain white for each space? That’s why we don’t all drive just blue or silver cars. It’s why we love ordering products from Amazon, with clear “options” to choose from. The more organizations recognize that customers want to be treated as individuals with unique wants and needs, the better they are suited to addressing that.
We are all bound by one common element, our humanity, and to be human is to recognize how uniquely different we each are, from unique fingerprints to our DNA. It’s time we pay homage to those differences, applying the Platinum rule!
